The Climb
by OnlyPaily
Summary: Takes place between the summer finale and Halloween. Paige and Emily haven't seen much of each other after the events of the lighthouse. Paige's parents, in an attempt to protect her, aren't letting her out of the house socially. But that isn't really what's keeping her and Emily apart.


Paige sat at her desk, looking out her second floor bedroom window. She stared. She found herself doing that a lot lately. Staring at the wall. Staring at the water in the pool during practice. Staring at the back of someone's head in class. Staring at nothing really. Just staring, thinking. Most of the time she was trying to avoid her gaze.

She knew she was looking at her. She wasn't stupid. She didn't have to look at her to feel her kind eyes watching her, trying to make sure she was all right. She wasn't all right. Was she? She didn't know. She just didn't know what she felt anymore. Her head felt clouded. Thinking was a nightmare; focusing on anything for too long was impossible. Her thoughts jumped from one thing to another against her will. Her thoughts weren't pleasant, not anymore.

Paige sighed. She rubbed her eyes as the words in her textbook began to blur together. She closed it. She wasn't going to get anything done anyway. She tapped the pencil against the back of her head absently. She stared out into her backyard. The light in her pool shone; aqua ripples glowed through the yard. Her mind wandered again...

... _Paige climbed out of the pool and a teammate handed her a towel. She buried her face in the soft terrycloth. She could feel her eyes. She knew they were on her the entire time she swam. She cursed herself for letting that get into her head. _

_"You're off today, Paige." Coach held up her stopwatch with a frown. "Work on it."_

_She raised her face from her towel and spoke with a tired smile. "I know, Coach. Just a little tired today."_

_"Rest up. You'll do better tomorrow." Coach walked away without another word. _

_Paige looked up and caught Emily's eye. She stood across the pool, unmoving. Paige had never felt Emily's eyes press into her harder, begging for her to talk to her. But Paige just turned away, walking toward the locker room. _

_She moved toward her locker, pulling out her clothes. She could hear the whispers and it just made her move faster, with more purpose. She and Emily's brush with death had made the local news and was a pretty popular story at school. Of course every time someone talked about it, it was something different. Some were pretty creative: Emily killed Nate out of jealousy due to an affair with Paige. One story involved a drug deal gone wrong. Whatever the story, everyone treated Paige differently, always handling her a bit softer, and she couldn't take the sympathy. _

_She slammed her locker door shut and hurried out of the locker room, straight past Emily without a word. Emily held for a moment, frozen from Paige's cold chill, before taking a deep breath and following her. _

_Paige exited the building, lost in her thoughts. She stopped when she heard her name. _

_"Paige! Paige!"_

_She turned to see Emily running after her. She was still wearing only her bathing suit, her swim cap and goggles clutched in her hand, her fist wrapped tightly around them, showing her fear. She breathed heavily, partially from chasing her down, partially from the fear of not knowing what Paige would say to her. Emily just shrugged. _

_"Your times...Coach...do you want to talk about it?" She paused for a moment. She glanced down at the ground before looking back up at her, the eyes of the frightened child. "Do you want to talk about anything?"_

_Paige's mouth flapped open and closed a few times, no sound escaping her lips. She didn't know what to say, about anything. She was rescued by the sound of a horn. She turned to see her father's car. Through the window her waved her over. She turned back to Emily. _

_"I gotta go." And that was it. That was all she said. She turned toward the car, not wanting to leave her father waiting. It was bad enough he insisted on chauffeuring her everywhere now, her bike not leaving the garage since that night, but of all people, she did not want him to see her talking to Emily. She knew he held her responsible for what happened...for what almost happened. _

_Paige got into the car and her father pulled away. She glanced in the rearview mirror. Emily stood on the steps of the school, in her bathing suit, watching Paige drive away without a word..._

...Paige stopped tapping the pencil against her head and tossed it onto the desk, annoyed with herself. Communication was never Paige's strong suit, but before, when she couldn't talk about things or explain herself, she could always just push things away or fight them. That wasn't working anymore. Emily had broken through that exterior Paige had always used for her own protection and found things underneath that Paige never even knew existed. Now she didn't want to push Emily away. She didn't want to fight her. Just knowing she was hurting Emily hurt her, but she just didn't know how to stop. The walls were going back up and it terrified her. She didn't want to go back to who she was. It was lonely. But now she was scared that world was encroaching on her world with Emily. Would what happened that night be the end of them?

A gentle tapping at the window in front of her jarred her violently from her thoughts. Her whole body tensed. She could hear the blood rush to her ears. 'What the hell was that?'

She jumped up, knocking her chair to the floor, and stared hard out the window. Seconds passed. Nothing. Finally a hand shot out from the right hand corner and knocked gently, causing Paige to jump again at the sight. She rushed forward to see what it was, hesitant to open the window before she knew who was outside her bedroom. She pressed her face against the glass, just able to spot long raven locks and knowing instantly who it was.

Paige slid her window up and hung her head out with a look of curiosity. Clinging to the rose trellis that ran up the side of her house a few feet from her window was a terrified looking Emily. Paige furrowed her brow.

"What the hell are you doing?" she asked.

"Being romantic?" Emily replied, looking like a deer caught in headlights. "This seemed like a much better idea before I was about 30 feet in the air clinging to what feels like very flimsy wood. Little help?"

Paige pushed her desk over a few feet and leaned the upper half of her body out the window.

"Give me your hand." She said simply, reaching both of her arms forward toward Emily.

Emily reached her right arm to Paige. Paige wrapped it around her shoulder, allowing her to get a firm grasp so she was able to remove her other hand from the trellis and wrap it around the back of her neck. Paige wrapped her arms firmly around Emily's back and quickly yanked backward, pulling Emily's slender frame through her window one half at a time until she was standing, feet firmly on the ground, in front of her. Emily breathed a sigh of relief.

Paige realized they stood closely, inches apart, her hands lightly on Emily's waist and she moved back, breaking contact and turning her back to her. Emily frowned.

"Paige, d-"

There was a knock at the door. Emily dove for Paige's closet as the door opened slowly with no regard for Paige's answer. Paige quickly moved forward, stopping the door from opening fully with her body. Her father poked his head into the room.

"What are you doing in here?" He asked, looking around the room. "What's all that banging?"

Paige stuttered for a moment.

"I'm sorry, dad. I, uh, dropped my pencil behind my desk so I had to move it to get to it. See?" She moved, opening the door fully. She pointed to the desk, moved out of its position under the window. "I guess I knocked the chair over too. I'm sorry. I'll be more careful."

Her father frowned at the sight, but he looked at her and his face softened a bit. He stood for a moment, looking as though he was searching his brain for what to say. He knew his daughter was unhappy. He knew it was because they were keeping her at home. But it was for her own good. He knew he'd messed up and shot his mouth off in the past, but Nick McCullers really did only want the best for his daughter, and right now that meant protecting her from getting hurt.

"Are you ok, Paige?"

She looked up at him, confused. "Yeah, why?"

"I know things aren't ideal right now, but understand the position your mother and I are in. You were almost -"

"Dad...I get it."

He sighed. "You'll get over this, you know. You're still young."

She gave him a half-hearted smile. "I'm gonna get back to my homework."

He nodded. "If you need anything, we're downstairs."

He turned and walked down the hall. Paige closed the door and leaned her head against it. She'll get over it. She wished she knew what he was referencing. She'll get over what happened to her and move on? Or she'll get over Emily and move on... Paige's head snapped up...Emily...

She moved back around her bed toward her closet. "Emily?"

A pair of eyes poked out from around her closet door. "Is it safe?"

Paige took a deep breath. 'That's a loaded question.' She just gave a half smile and shrugged, stuffing her hands as deep into the back pockets of her jeans as they would go.

Emily emerged, taking a few steps out of the closet and stopping. Things had been tense between them lately and other than making a surprise visit into her bedroom window , Emily didn't want to push Paige. She kept her distance, playing with the bedsheets to the side of her bed, while Paige stood at the foot of her bed, avoiding eye contact, hand firmly on her bedframe.

Emily pulled her hand off the bed and rested both hands on the scarf she was wearing, unsure of weather to take her scarf and jacket off or to wait for the invitation from Paige. She looked over at her girlfriend, casually dressed in a pair of jeans and a button down flannel shirt. Emily looked down at her bare feet and smiled a small smile. She loved how casual Paige could be when she just relaxed around the house, but the smile faded quickly at the thought that that's all Paige has been doing lately...She's been in her house and nowhere else...that's a lot of flannel.

"What are you doing here, Emily?"

Emily's head snapped up quickly, pulling her from her thoughts. She continued to stare at Paige for a few moments before answering honestly, "I don't know. I miss you, Paige. I miss you so much." Paige glanced down and shuffled her feet a bit in discomfort. Emily noticed. She always noticed when Paige looked away.

She took a step closer and continued. "I don't know what's happening to us, but I can't do this anymore. You need to talk to me, Paige. What happened...your parents wanting to protect you...I get it. But they're not stopping us from talking...you are."

Paige bit down on her lip. "I don't know what I'm supposed to say." she stated quietly.

Emily took another step closer, her eyes pleading desperately. "What do you want to say?"

"I don't know!" Paige spat out harshly. She closed her eyes tight, inwardly chastising herself for snapping at Emily. "I'm sorry." she whispered.

Emily couldn't take it anymore. She pressed forward, closing the distance between them in a few quick, sweeping steps. She took Paige's face in her hands. "Don't be sorry. Stop being sorry. Just be honest."

Emily pressed her forehead against Paige's. Both girls' eyes were closed tight, making their own silent wishes. Paige reached up and held onto Emily's hands, still holding firmly on each side of her face. Her breathing picked up and her body began to shake. She was breaking. The walls that were building back up were starting to crack as the sobs began and she clasped, firmer and firmer, onto Emily's hands.

"It hurts..."

The whisper came out so strained and pathetic, the cry of a sad child, that it destroyed Emily. The tears began to run down her face at hearing the girl in her hands, the girl she knew to be so strong, sound so broken.

Emily began to sob. "Please...tell me..."

"I was so scared. I was so weak...I can't be weak. I can't be helpless. Not ever. Not when it comes to you." Paige looked away, ashamed.

Emily finally opened her eyes, opened them wide, and stared at Paige.

" There are things going on that are bigger than us. Don't you think it's hard for me to get involved with anyone with my life on some marionette string and 'A' as my constant puppeteer? Anyone that comes near me can get hurt. You don't think that's ALWAYS on my mind. It's not always going to be about protecting me, Paige. You have to let me protect you. WE have to protect EACH OTHER. You have to stop trying to be so strong, all the time."

"But that's it...I'm not strong. I know how not strong I am now." Her voice was riddled with shame.

Emily moved her hands from the sides of Paige's face and tangled them deep in her hair, wringing and tugging hard, out of pure frustration.

"You are, baby." her voice a low, husky whisper. "You are so strong."

Paige's sobs started again.

"I'm not. " She sobbed for a few moments, until she could catch her breath and speak again. "I see it all the time. It happens again and again, over and over."

"What does?"

"That night..." she whispers through tears and clenched teeth...

..._Paige skids her bike to a stop outside the cemetery. It is dark and she can't see very well. The night air has a bite to it; the cold months are approaching. She leans her bike against the cemetery gate and wraps her arms around herself, rubbing up and down her forearms. She glances at her phone to check the time. The message didn't say specifically where at the cemetery to meet and she isn't keen on the idea of wandering inside a cemetery alone at night so she moves toward the entrance, deciding to just wait there. _

_She reaches to put her phone back into her pocket when two strong arms wrap themselves around her, one covering her mouth from screaming, the other securing her arms to her body, keeping her from fighting back. She struggles against the unseen body. _

_Lips press against her ear. She can feel hot, menacing breath. "We can do this the easy way, or we can do this the hard way." _

_In his right hand, the arm around her body his is holding something. Paige hears a "click" and a switchblade shoots out. It is so close to her body. She is panicked. She stops wriggling against his body and does the first thing she can think of, something she learned as a child in school when they taught defense against kidnappers. _

_She raises her foot as high as she could, slamming it down hard onto the top bones of her assailant's foot. He screams out, dropping the knife and releasing his grip on her, just enough for her to wrestle herself free. Paige tries to move quickly, but she can't move far enough. Her assailant grabs her with one hand, pulling her close again, close enough to get both hands on her. With all of his strength, he pushes her, hard, toward the cemetery gate. Paige stumbles backward, her body coming to an immediate halt when it hits the iron fencing, her head whipping back and slamming into the gate with force. A quiet squeal of surprise and pain escapes her as her hand instinctually moves up to the back of her head and her body slides down toward the ground. As her vision fades to black she saw her assailant, Maya's cousin Nate, moving toward her with purpose..._

_..._Paige and Emily were now sitting side by side on Paige's bed. Paige sat with her feet up in front of her, knees tucked tightly against her chest and arms wrapped around them. Her chin was buried in her knees. Emily sat next to her, staring down at the floor. This was the first real conversation they had since that night, let alone the first time Paige had actually revealed to her anything that Nate had done. Emily wasn't sure she wanted to hear any more.

A tear dropped from her face and Emily wiped it away quickly. She didn't want Paige to see. She was afraid it would hurt her.

"I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry he hurt you."

"It doesn't matter now."

Emily's head snapped up. "Yes, it does! Don't you see that? It matters so much! Paige we don't even talk anymore!"

Paige continued to stare straight ahead.

"Paige, are we not going to be all right?" Her voice lowered to a terrified whisper. "Are we not going to get through this?"

Paige thought long and hard. She spent her whole life trying to be strong. She thought she was strong enough to pretend she was something she wasn't. And then there was Emily. Emily, who broke her and made her realize she couldn't pretend anymore; she wasn't strong enough to fight the want and the need to have everything she saw that Emily had. Then she thought she was strong enough to protect Emily. But she wound up almost getting killed, and Emily was the one that ended up protecting her. And she thought she was strong enough to BE WITH Emily...is that something else she was wrong about?


End file.
